So this morning as I got dressed for work I almost started crying. Not because I am scared of what kind of mother I will be, not because I am worried about my dad and how he feels about little bean, but because I feel fat. Not PHat -cool- FAt - not cute, and slowly on my way to the point of no return. How narccistic of me.
But I am OVERWHELMED with the thought that this is only the beginning of the end of my body. I mean, I am a big girl, I have always struggled with my weight, but I am so scared that I am going to be the size of a football stadium or the marshmallow man. I can see it now, "Here comes Lauren, get down!" Oh Lordy. God, please help me not grow to the size of a middle school gymnasium. Puuhhhhleassee.
My boobs already are BUSTING out of my bras. And since this is my first time with all this, I'm not sure what to do. Do I get a new bra? Do I wait? Bra's are expensive, and so is my taste. Dangit.
The thought of only being advised to gain 10 lbs. for the duration of my pregnancy is daunting. Especially because I am pretty confident I have packed on 5-8 lbs in the past 2 weeks. Pulling me off adderrall and ciggies was great for baby but terrible for my waistline... which is in part to pregnancy bloat and part in to me eating like a maniac.
I swear I can already feel my neck getting fat, I am scared I am three chicken nuggets away from having eight chins. Yall are going to see me on Jerry Springer being airlifted from my bed on April 12th to deliever this baby. They may even have to send a search team in to find my vajayjay. Grosssaahhh.
AHHHH. haha. I know I am going a little too far... but serioulsy this is the crap that is on my mind right now.
And I know its not healthy to go on a crazy diet right now... So what do I do? I have my 2nd doctor appointment next week. I am going to talk in DETAIL with my nurse and doc about an excercise/diet plan. I will not be a marshmallow man, I repeat I will NOT be the size a middle school gymnasium.
So those of your friends that live in Charlotte. If you see me about to go for 2nds or 3rds when the first helping was just plenty... smack my wrist or just look me in the eye and say, "Jerry!"
Thanks.
ok. i started my third pregnancy at big girl status and heard the same thing and felt the same way. and somehow, it just happened. I ate normal and only gained about fifteen pounds. with elias, I gained 60. So, it can happen. it's annoying to not get to indulge but it can definitely happen. We'll talk:)
ReplyDeletehaha, you are so funny, I am sitting here laughing out loud
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