Holiday Photos.

Snowed In with Izzie :)

I have no comment other than... "Go Big Girl what you gonna do?"

My pretty cake I baked for X-Mas Eve Festivities

Me and my Fabulous Cousins Celebrating. :)

ryan- jason-megan t.-ginny-me-megan grier.

Holly Jolly…. And a Happy New Year…

I totally slacked off over the holidays on postings/updates… My bad.

Here is a brief update of the recent events in the Land of Lauren to catch you up to speed of what went down during the holiday haze:

Holiday Parties Galore. What lovely friends and family I have. There were some fabulous parties to attend and I did my best to make it to all of them! There was some serious belly touching involved in these festivities, especially when cocktails involved. I’m still not super comfortable with people stroking my fat belly… but my tummy seems to have some gravitating magnet growing in there that just attracts anyone and everyone’s paws. Fa La La La La.

Baby Girl Got Tons of Gifts from Santa. –aka- Grandma-To-Be. My mother has already started her wardrobe collection for the first year of her life. I would be totally lying if I said I didn’t love it. She is going to be a styling little lady bug. Some of the things I opened made me almost squeal with delight! Also, Santa brought me a snazzy HD video camera to document all of these sweet little outfits and precious moments will little lady tot.

Registering. So, I finally caved in and went to register for baby girl. I had been avoiding it since I have a “complex” about registering. I mean, HELLO, I have registered for 2 weddings that never happened… so I am a little weary of picking up a scan gun. But, with my mothers support, we made it through a 3 hour scanning escapade in Buy Buy Baby. It may have been one of the most overwhelming things I have ever experienced. You wouldn’t believe how many different types of baby bottles they make. I ended up chatting up this other mom-to-be who had obviously done her research on all things newborns and stalked her through the store scanning the stuff she did. I did thank her at the end for all her guidance.

I promise there will be some pregnant pictures to come. I took a few to share over the holidays. So check back soon!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS! - And please note and applaud this will be the first New Year since the late 90’s that I will be bringing in the new year stone cold sober. So say a Cheers for me and baby tot. ;)

Elevators, Strangers and Hormones

Conversation in an Elevator Today.

This is a true story.

Scene: I was taking the elevator downstairs this morning to get my breakfast of cheese grits. I was completely focused on the cheesy goodness I was about to partake in. Mty concentration was interrupted when the elevator doors opened and I was joined by a familiar lady from my building. This lady immediately stares directly at my stomach. I am not exaggerating when I say she was staring laser holes through my cardigan.

I politely smiled at her and said, “Are you staring at my stomach?”

I was thinking to myself if she is going to make me uncomfortable, I will make her uncomfortable.

Lady: “No.”

Me: (still smiling ever so politely.) “Really, I could have sworn you were staring at my stomach.”

Lady: (nervous laughter) “No.”

Me: “Oh, well if you WERE staring at my stomach, I can tell you that YES indeed I am pregnant and I am due in April.”

Lady: “I thought you looked different in the middle. Congratulations!!!! That is wonderful news!”

Me: “Thank you. I am very excited.”

Lesson Learned. People lie to your face. Even practical strangers. And then act like your best friend. I was waiting for her to jot down her address for an invite to my baby shower. Ridiculous.

1/2 way to due date!

20 WEEKS. ½ WAY THERE…

This week is my 20th week of pregnancy. 20 weeks in. ½ way there till baby girls arrival.

20 more weeks of GROWING. BIGGER and bigger by the day. Oh the joy.

So here are a few details no one ever shares about the joys of pregnancy that I am starting to experience with a fury.

Leaking. No I don’t have milk yet, so I am not referring to my nips. I am referring to my other lady region. That’s right friends. I feel like a need a dang diaper because my latest and greatest pregs symptom is peeing on myself. And sometimes I don’t even realize I am doing it. Gross.

Gorilla Hair. My hair is growing fast everywhere except on my head. I mean I went to shave my legs the other day and it was like holy crap have I morphed into an ape? I could have braided it. Ok, that is a little dramatic, but I could have brushed it for real. Sick.

Zit-i-licious. I made that word up. And I am referring to my face and my body. My face looks like a pubescent teenage boy and my chest and shoulders are just nasty. I got out of the shower this morning and glanced in the mirror and screamed in horror because I though I had a 3rd nipple. But no.. not a nipple… a zit. In the middle of my chest that is worthy of a trophy or something. Ridiculously nasty.

So when you are walking down the street and see an ape like woman coming your way don’t run and scream…it’s probably some 20 week pregnant lady just running her errands. Bless her hairy little heart.

Quote To Live By

For a Good Giggle....

So my mom's sweet friend Loree gave me a bunch of FREE baby gear. I mean who doesn't love FREE? I sure do!!!! I was super excited to get a baby Bjorn. So excited that I just had to try it on and put Izzie in it to make sure it worked just right. haha.

P.S- Please focus on Izzie's cuteness and not my double chin. Thanks.

Photo Credit: Taylor's Blackberry Curve. hehe. ;)

Little Bean is.....

A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am delighted to share that little bean is a baby girl! I was completely shocked and still am! I was sold that I was having a boy. haha. Oh what a maternal instinct I have.

But I am still so excited to be the mama of a sweet little lady bug!

18 Weeks.

I found this neat photo of a baby at 18 weeks. Isn't that AMAZING??? I am sure little bean looks like that too but WAY cuter :)

And P.S. I never realized how creepy and gross the umbilical cord looks. That is pretty darn nasty.

Happy 18 weeks little bean!

Christmas Comes Early!

Hurry Up November 29th!!!!

I am almost aching at this point to know if my little bean is male or female. I am still leaning toward bean having a pickle in his pocket… but who knows! I will be thrilled either way. Each day that passes I seriously love this boo boo face more.

I believe that pregnancy is the first lesson of patience for motherhood. I am dying to meet this baby and kiss its face! At the same time I do have fleeting moments of anxiety where I imagine the baby crying and pooping all over the place and wishing I could put it back. Haha. But I am way more on the team of I can’t wait to hug and kiss you like crazy. J

I swear I have started to feel little bean kick. My mom tells me its just gas. Again, I’m not sold on that whole gas thing. I think my bambino is a dance machine. Last night on the way home from work I was SHOCKED to find that Lite 102.9 was already playing Christmas music. My shock was followed by delight because I realized I know almost all the words to most Christmas tunes. So I enjoyed my commute home singing Rocking around the Christmas Tree and Let It Snow to get baby bean ready for the holiday season. I pretended the baby was delighted with my magnificent voice and danced along J Silly me.

So Feliz Navidad friends. On November 29th Christmas comes earlier for this lady and I cannot wait to share all the news with you guys!

Here are few funny baby and a family Christmas pic for your enjoyment. Both made me laugh out loud.






This photo has me asking myself so many questions. How did he get her? Why? Oh Why do they make grown men sized onesies?

Placenta Previa… no, it is not a Mexican dish you can order at Monterrey.

My latest update is I found out on Tuesday of last week that I have Placenta Previa. “What in the world is that?” you may ask… well here is my Cliff-Notes version:
My placenta just so happens to be blind. It decided to latch on to the wrong spot of my baby making organs. Instead of latching on to the uterus (the kitchen) it is latched onto my cervix(the exit door). In other words, the darn thing is blocking the exit. There is a 90% chance that it will just move along on its own back to where it belongs, and if not, that is when things could get a little tricky. I could hemorrhage if it rips, or if it just stays put I will be having a C-Section come April. It’s kind of scary stuff this Placenta Previa.

So after finding out about my problematic placenta the doctor put me on bed rest and wrote me out of work until Monday (today.) Everyone thinks they would love to lie on the couch for 5 days. I was one of those people. Well it is harder than it sounds to stay still for 5 days. I was going stir crazaayyy. THANK YOU to the friends and family who came to visit my stir crazy self. You guys rock my face. Special shout out to you! Gracias amigas. You being thoughtful made bed rest not so bad, and your visits and phone calls kept me sane. And to my sweet mom and dad. You guys are the sweetest. Ya’ll took me in to your house and even gave up your bed so I wouldn’t have to climb the stairs. I hope butta bean one day thinks I am as super as I think you two are.

Today is my first day back at work… and I am happy to be back in action and off the couch. But don’t worry I am still taking it easy. I know I have to lay low and take care of butta bean.

Damn You Mr. Smoothie and Chef Boyardee

Butta Bean is 15 weeks old. Holy moly. And he/she is growing fast. It is nutso! I am pretty sure I have already felt some flutters. But they say you can easily mistake baby flutters for gas... but I don't buy it. I am sure its little bean moving and shaking in his little amnio casa. He/she is definitely a dancer. And maybe if I am lucky one day they will grow up to be on my favorite show So You Think You Can Dance (dance!dance!)

Well here is my pregnancy update for the week. In the past 4 weeks I have gained 4 lbs. which is "right on target" and makes my Dr. happy, much to my disgust. I know little bean is growing fast because in a single day even my fat pants won't zip anymore. My tops are still working out it is just the bottoms that are mocking me every time I try to put on anything without elastic. It is about that time that I cave into the world of maternity clothes. Lovely.

I am in my second trimester and feeling much more energetic. I still do a projectile vomit on occasion if I smell something gross. I actually threw up some of my lunch today when I got Badin and Izzie a treat because their delicious aroma intoxicated my over sensitive nostrils. Thank God for kitchen sinks. There was no way in the world I would have made it to the bathroom.

I am craving fruit smoothies and Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs (yes, from the can) on the frequent. I just have to have it. Like a crazy person. The smoothies are by far becoming a ridiculous addiction. They now know my name and my order at the Smoothie place in my building. I am drooling just thinking about the stupid things. Butta bean must like it FRUITAYYYY. Keep it sweet little bean. :)

Grateful Goodness.

Grateful.

When I find myself in a funk or a low place I try to evaluate all the blessings I have in my life. Even in the midst of a shit storm, I believe we all have at least one thing to be grateful for.

Here is my THANKFUL list for the day:

1. Butta Bean. Yes little bean has thrown my life into a huge hurricane of what ifs?, what now’s?, and how are you gonna’s? but man oh man, I already feel an abundance of love for this little life. I love you butta. Thanks for getting mama through the hard days and making me realize that it’s all about you now and not about me anymore. I love you so much already I can hardly stand it.

2. Supportive friends and family. I love you. Thanks x a million for loving me through all the changes happening and keeping me focused. I really cannot thank you enough. If I had the time and the energy I would deco podge/mod podge you all your own thank you wine bottle, vase or other trinket. But this little lame blog post will have to suffice for now. Just know I have your back when/if your weather gets stormy fo sho. Me and butta bean got your back on the real tip.

3. Spandex. Yes. Spandex anything is something to be grateful for when I feel like I am an inflating balloon. Every day I look forward to coming home to my new dear friend.

4. Fruit punch. In the form of crystal light (healthy) or Tahitian Treat and Hawaiian punch (not so healthy) Your fruity goodness never fails to refresh my soul. Yummy fruity goodness that is a party in my mouth.

5. Consistency. With so much changing in my life there a few things I can thankfully say stay pretty regular routine and I swear these little things make me feel sane some days. *Izzie and Badin greeting me when I come home. They are always happy to see me. * My mom calls to check in every day like clock work. Even if I don’t feel much like talking I appreciate these calls. * Tuesday night delicious dishes and Glee with Taylor,Colleen and Buddy. *Evening walks through the neighborhood with the dogs. It really is the simple stuff that makes your heart smile.

6. Bubble Baths. Every night I have a little me time. I treasure my evening lady baths. I try not to think that in just a few months I won't be able to fit in the tub anymore.

Take a minute to think of what you are grateful for today. If you cant think of anything at least you can read. Some people your age can’t.

Words of Wisdom

Something I have had on my mind lately...

It takes a lot less energy to judge people than to actually show compassion and understanding.

Dear Readers - All 3 of you...

Dear Readers,

As most of you know Rob & I did not get married on the 24th of October.

Instead of feeling sorry for us or for me you can all do better jobs of leaving comments on this little bloggy poo. Seriously.

Now that I am "out of the closet" about being "with child" I have even invited a few more readers. Welcome new reader friends. You are loved.

So I am going to ask yall to step it up on feedback. Taylor & Megan get the VIF Award thus far! (this stands for Very Important Feedback Givers)

Now I won't be too picky... so even if under the comment section I see your name and "&&22ff8" I will chuckle to myself and know you are atleast reading my pitiful little blog.

So... before moving forward and placing before you any of my brilliant mama intuitions or butta bean updates I would like to see if I actually have any readers. If so... I will blog on. And now that I have more energy I may even be more consistent.

I love team work.

Week 13 Update- Gender "Test" Results are in....

As of Sunday, butta bean is 13-weeks-old and about the size of a PEACH -crazy!
Also, Friday I got to hear the heart beat and it was just so sweet!

I have been obsessed with finding out the sex of this baby...like I HAVE to know...

So instead of calling the psychic hotline...which i have actually been tempted to do and asking Miss Cleo her professional opinion.....I decided to not spend $300 for a 3 minute convo and have taken matters into my own hands!

The past few weeks I have taken all the "not so legit" tests to hold me over until November 12th when we find out via ultrasound (legit) at the doctors office.

Here are a few of my findings:

Ring on a String: When you tie your ring to a string (in my case dental floss and hang it over your belly to see if it swings like a pendelum or in circles.
Circles = GIRL Back & Forth = BOY
My Result: GIRL

Chinese Birth Chart: This takes my age and the month you concieved and determines the sex.
My Result: GIRL

Pick a Cupcake: This one we ladies just made up. Megan made me a batch of delicious blue and pink cupcakes and I closed my eyes and picked one. This is the most scientific of all test out there.
My Result: BOY

Intelligender Pee Test: The verdict is still out on the effectiveness of this one but they claim to have a 90% accuracy rate. You pee in a cup and then syringe your pee into another "test cup" that has some type of mixture in the bottom of it ( I swear this scientific mixture had some glitter in it. Glitter = science +accuracy.) Then, I had to swirl my pee and the glitter mixture together for 10 seconds and then wait 10 minutes. This test gets points for having the most steps. Steps make it "feel official."
My result: BOY

Mama's Intuition: Some say that moms just know. I am not so positive on that either. I know plenty of people who thought one thing for 9 months and then found out the opposite... but I can admit I have had a gut feeling that my little butter bean has a weiner.
My result: BOY

So what does this mean???? I guess not much. But it sure is fun to try to guess. Until November 12th keep your guesses coming. I love it!

Here Comes the Bride... All Fat & Wide...

I will be morphing into Mrs. Lauren Leslie on October the 24th 2010. Butter bean will be in attendance. How many of you can say you were at your parents wedding? Butta bean is a baller.

We are having a VERY small ceremony of 20 family members on the 24th at Van Landingham Estate. Today I get to go meet the planner to discuss one of my three favorite things, FOOD.

Dear Friends, I wish each of you could be there with us on our special day... and we appreciate you understanding the reason we are keeping this little celebration ultra pequeno. We love you. And appreciate you. And look forward to ya'll being a part of our lives in our days to come as a married couple.

Ok... enough about me... here is a litte butta bean update. Today I think its a boy. My little butter bean has a weiner in my sub concious. Could this be accurate? I do not know. Just a few more weeks until we know for sure.

Start your votes now. :)
I want to see who has the special powers of prediciting butter beans genetalia. hehe. And Go....

Troubled Waters

Please add us to your prayer list.

I just found out this week that there is a VERY HIGH chance that I will be laid off in the next 6 weeks. Our company hasn't been doing well financially and my boss is having to lay off half of our employees.

I am terrified. I have no idea how I am going to pay for a baby, doctor and hospital visits or my mortgage for that matter.

Suggestions and tons of prayers welcomed and appreciated.

Mama is Engaged....

Rob proposed last night and it looks like Big MaMa (me) is engaged.
Now to decide if I am going to get married in a month or if I am going to wait 2 years. Decisions, decisions.

9 weeks. Vomit Olympics.

So I haven't posted anything new recently because I have been too busy puking. True story.

I have been a vomit sprinkler. I just can't stop. Little Myrtle Cletus Lima Bean III is making mama feel like poopoo. I am in complete shock that something as small as this little butter bean can make me vomit projectile style. 7 times yesterday. No joke. I have to admit though, my aim is getting pretty darn good. I could probably win a contest if there were such things. Now if only, we could get Rob to work on his aim we would be fantastic in the restroom department.

So my little butter bean is the size of a small baby tomato this week. Crazy!!!! I swear it seems like yesterday she/he was the size of a blueberry. Today I think butter bean is a girl.

Ok.. I am already too tired to type anymore. Butter bean, out.

There is not Sunshine Coming out of my Butt or any other areas today...

So today I am not feeling to great. I have puked 3 times before lunch. I busted out crying at work talking to my coworker. And I think I am crumbling a little bit under all the pressure and this is just week 8.

I have felt a bit consumed by what people think... what I should do to make people happy... what I should do that is best for little lima bean....what I should do to stay true to myself.... and it has me on the verge of a series of small panic attacks.

I know I didn't get pregnant the "right way" I wasn't married and I don't want to get married just because I am having a baby. I love my boyfriend. But I think it would be rushing things. My mom seems to think it is best for the lima bean, but I don't agree 100%. I wish there was a manual for getting knocked up before getting hitched.

I want to THANK from the bottom of my blue little heart all the friends, most of you readers, for your support. This has already been an emotional rollercoaster. Having your support and each of your sharing EXCITEMENT for this really makes a difference in my outlook. I cannot express into words my appreciation. Please don't stop. :)

As you can imagine, there is a large part of the population that is NOT happy for me. That is NOT supportive of me and that is treating this like a SCANDAL. And that breaks my heart. Because in NO way shape or form do I want my sweet baby girl/boy to feel as if they were not celebrated. As a mama-to-be... that thought sometimes crashes over me and just crushes my spirit.

I will try to be more perky in my next post, I promise. I just needed to vent.

3 chicken nuggets away...

So this morning as I got dressed for work I almost started crying. Not because I am scared of what kind of mother I will be, not because I am worried about my dad and how he feels about little bean, but because I feel fat. Not PHat -cool- FAt - not cute, and slowly on my way to the point of no return. How narccistic of me.

But I am OVERWHELMED with the thought that this is only the beginning of the end of my body. I mean, I am a big girl, I have always struggled with my weight, but I am so scared that I am going to be the size of a football stadium or the marshmallow man. I can see it now, "Here comes Lauren, get down!" Oh Lordy. God, please help me not grow to the size of a middle school gymnasium. Puuhhhhleassee.

My boobs already are BUSTING out of my bras. And since this is my first time with all this, I'm not sure what to do. Do I get a new bra? Do I wait? Bra's are expensive, and so is my taste. Dangit.

The thought of only being advised to gain 10 lbs. for the duration of my pregnancy is daunting. Especially because I am pretty confident I have packed on 5-8 lbs in the past 2 weeks. Pulling me off adderrall and ciggies was great for baby but terrible for my waistline... which is in part to pregnancy bloat and part in to me eating like a maniac.

I swear I can already feel my neck getting fat, I am scared I am three chicken nuggets away from having eight chins. Yall are going to see me on Jerry Springer being airlifted from my bed on April 12th to deliever this baby. They may even have to send a search team in to find my vajayjay. Grosssaahhh.

AHHHH. haha. I know I am going a little too far... but serioulsy this is the crap that is on my mind right now.

And I know its not healthy to go on a crazy diet right now... So what do I do? I have my 2nd doctor appointment next week. I am going to talk in DETAIL with my nurse and doc about an excercise/diet plan. I will not be a marshmallow man, I repeat I will NOT be the size a middle school gymnasium.

So those of your friends that live in Charlotte. If you see me about to go for 2nds or 3rds when the first helping was just plenty... smack my wrist or just look me in the eye and say, "Jerry!"

Thanks.

Hot Poots.

Yes, the title of this post is Hot Poots.

That is my newest and greatest pregnancy symptom. I have terrible gas. Terrible, as in it comes on every other minute without warning, and just sneaks out without permission. Rude.

What makes it even worse is that it is hot. Gross. I know. Call me "hot pants."

Last night, Rob I were on the couch and when he got up to get something out of the kitchen one of those rude little guys jumped out. I was so embarrassed I didnt know what to do. My eyes got big and I panicked. So I told him. I didn't want him to come back and sit down on the couch and ask me if I had turned the heat on. What is a girl to do?

He laughed. And told me he loved me even though I had hot poots. Isn't he sweet? And I do believe this is a milestone. Our love for one another must have reached a new level.... We deserve a trophy or something. Or maybe just a bronzed air freshner?

Seven.

Today marks the beginning of my 7th week. My little boo bop is about the size of a lima bean. He/she is developing or will have developed most organs by the end of this week, including its sweet little heart. So neat! Isn't that crazy???? I am still radiating joy over all this. I find myself smiling for no reason at all.

Please note it's not all rosey... there is still the matter of telling my mother tonight the exciting news. Please be praying that she takes the news well and is as happy for me. :)

Also symptoms.... I am still T-I-R-E-D all the time. Like I feel like a lazy bum because if you asked me at any given time what I would like to be doing my answer will be eating or napping.
haha. I feel so attractive. Also my boobs are already bigger and they hurt like a mo-fo... but I can take it in stride thinking about my little lima bean. It all for little sweet pea... so mama will endure. :)

So Typical...

So if you love me, you know how much I love beauty products. LOVEEE them.

I have already done my research on what is safe and healthy for mom and baby. I am already a little worried about having a pizza face since I was pulled off my anti-acne antibiotics and cannot use anything with salicylic acid, beta-hydroxy acids or retnoids (which are typically in anti-wrinkle creams.) I have also been warned that my skin is going to be EXTRMELY dry...

So I guess I will be going ALL Natural, which typically means EXPENSIVE. yuck. But a girl can dream.

Here are the things I have found HIGHLY recommended for Mama's To Be who want to put their best face forward:

Mama Mio Tummy Rub:

This line has the most adorable stuff including little gift sets that make me want jump for joy!!!

Mario Badescu Drying Cream and Facial Products:

Clarins Huile Tonic Body Treatment Oil:

Mama Bee Leg & Foot Cream:

Muestela Strech Mark Cream:

How I am Feeling

At 6 Weeks....

I am definitely nausesous. But typically it is at lunchtime. I have found that snacking helps.

I am soooo SLEEPY. Today I totally dozed off at my desk.

Cravings: I would eat ice cream anytime for every meal. I am actually slurping up a Chick-fil-A Ice Dream Right now. Also, Guacamole. Deliciousness.
--- please note my Doctor told me since I fall in the "big girl" category I can only gain 15 lbs. during my pregnancy. Most people are told 25-30lbs. Thats crap.

Aversions: The only thing that makes me gag as of right now is Badin's poop and the smell of cigarette smoke. Which is ironic since I have been a non smoker for less than a week.

Dad-to-Be.

I want to document how sweet Rob has been this week and how much I love and appreciate him.

He has emailed me almost daily neat pregnancy articles, including "Top 10 Reasons it's Great to be Pregnant." as well as already read 1/2 of What to Expect When you Are Expecting.
It is adorable. And I just know he is going to be a great dad. His heart is so sweet and I pray that our baby has a heart like his.

Last night I had my first hormonal breakdown. Like as in I cried for like 2 hours straight. The catalyst being a locksmith who cussed me out and wouldn't let me into my house. Crazy story. Well, my sweet man, took me in his arms and fed me dinner and spoke softly to me inspite of all my craziness and tears. Did I mention how much I love this man?

Today he packed me a little lunch box full of snacks. This morning before I left for work he sliced up some fresh carrots, celery and cucumbers, and some wheat thins so I had something to snack on through out the day so I won't get nauseous. He even through in a gingerale. Today when I went to have a little snack there was a little note tucked in my lunch box that said "I Love You." I swear, I am blessed to have this sweet man in my life.

6 weeks.

This week, as in Tuesday August 17th 2010, I found out I was aproximately 6 weeks pregnant.

This comes as a "sweet surprise" to me and my boyfriend. We have welcomed with opened arms this sweet surprise and are overjoyed at the thought of our little "sweet pea" that's growing inside me. We both realize that we may not be taking the traditional route of starting a family, but our love story hasn't been traditional itself. We consider our baby a miracle and feel blessed to know that we can tell our child one day just how much his/her mom and dad loved them when they were created.

I decided to start this blog to share with my closest friends and the folks who know about the early stages of my pregnancy the funny, sad, hard, hillarious stuff that I am walking through on this journey.